I don’t actually know if this exists everywhere in the world, I guess it does. I guess hard work and minimum wage are like the flu, it’s everywhere and it’s not that big a deal. I just never thought I’d be doing what I love in the crazy owl hours. But then here I am. Finalizing my research, placing the ever important commas, looking at the clock.
I don’t even mind. That’s the truth. I don’t mind that sometimes I stay up all night writing. That’s good. When I have work to do that’s good. I don’t even mind the nights that I can’t seem to put a single word out there. I love every bit of it, the writing. That’s the truth.
But I do lie. Not to the one’s I love the most. The ones I trust. The other people in my life. I learned to lie to them. The thing is if I was to tell them “I actually think faster at night, so it suits me,” suddenly everyone would be saying the one sentence I detest: “You got it easy.”
I know it’s a correct statement. I am blessed, and I am grateful. I have a beautiful, slightly tyrant-like, baby boy. I have a funny, loving, and interesting husband. I have a great mom that’s still always there for me in spite of myself. To top it off, I’m earning money doing what I love. Added bonus-pyjama uniform. So yes, I have it “easy”, but I earned it. I worked for it.
So here I am, getting ready to send another article out. I’m hoping I’ll be able to concentrate enough to send many more tonight. Tomorrow maybe I won’t be able to put pen to paper. Who knows. Maybe I’ll put my heart and soul into something and the client will decline the essay. Not to their standards, not their taste. You never really know. Then I’ll be all angry and heartbroken how my sweet little article was rejected. With that mindset, I’ll “go” to work. Switch on my thinking cap and pull another all-nighter. I will do that for as long as I can.
They will still say that my life is “easy”. I can’t drown them out or shut them up, but I can lie. Tell them I’m tired and earning pennies. They won’t feel sorry for me, don’t worry. They’ll shrug as if to say “Well now you know what it’s like to work,” and I’ll let them have that. That emotion that some form of justice was done and I am not that awesome. But I am. Every single person out there who does something new and scary is awesome. The single mom who refuses to settle, awesome. The cool kid who turned his back on his friends in order to grow up, awesome. The adults who went back to college, awesome. So many great people out there. I bet they are surrounded with their own “easy” crowd. I hope they don’t let it affect them.
Make coffee, empty ashtray, get the notebook, write. Work. Bye now 😉